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the Wild Roze

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Childless by Choice [Oct. 25th, 2009|02:33 am]
the Wild Roze
Since this is not aliyah related at all, I decided to post it here, rather than on my other blog.

I just read an interesting article on being "childless by choice". Apparently in the US 20% of couples are now childless by choice, up from 10% 30 years ago. Given, a part of this group is childless because of circumstance (infertility, etc), but a majority, it would seem, have decided not to have children for the sake of themselves and their relationships.

Its an interesting thought. I want the time to travel the world, focus on my relationship with my husband/significant other, and I dont want to deal with the pressures and issues that come with children. I can certainly see where these couples come from, and the attractiveness of the "single" lifestyle. It is certainly better to not have kids, then to raise them in a household that doesn't want them.

I have only been a mother for a couple months now, and there are definitely days that I miss being able to sleep in, or just have some "me" time. Things are easier now that baby is mostly sleeping through the night and takes "naps" during the day, but it can still be hard... but honestly there was never a time in my life that I didnt want to be a mother. It is hard. But there is so much joy involved, watching children grow and learn and become their own people. The article commented that children never appreciate what their parents do for them, and that is a reason not to have them. I completely disagree with this. I will be the first to admit that I did not always appreciate what my family did for me while I was growing up. The FIRST DAY I stepped into a classroom to teach I called my mother to thank her for my life and all the things she had done for me. In fact, I call my mother a couple times a week now to thank her for everything. I am beginning to understand what she has done. A child does not have the capacity to know what being a parent is like... we cannot expect them to understand until they are grown, and this is NOT a reason not to have kids.

With that being said... if a couple does not want to have kids, what is it my business? Im not writing articles (or a book as in this case) about how we should all have multiple kids, why should I be bothered about their opinion on not having kids? Its their life, it doesnt affect me... let us all live and let live
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9/11 [Sep. 11th, 2009|02:16 am]
the Wild Roze
(x-posted to the other journal too)
When I was in 8th grade, my history teacher assigned a project that involved us going to our family members (especially grandparents) and asking them what the days were that they remember most vividly in their lives. From my grandparents I learn about their feelings as they lived through major world events like Pearl Harbor, the end of WWII, the Korean War, the death of JFK, the first man on the moon, the fall of the Berlin Wall and more.

I remember thinking then how lucky I was that I had no dates like that. Honestly, in 8th grade, there was not a single day or world event that stuck in my mind that significantly. I remember wondering how ANYONE could remember exactly what they were doing and how they were feeling on a certain day, especially one so far in the past. It wasnt until High School that I realized there are some days that are just burned in your brain.

I used to love to fly. Growing up my family always traveled. Sometime in 2000, I grew a sudden fear, and had no desire to ever get back on a plane again. On the way back from Cuba in spring 2000, I decided, in Florida of all places, that I was never getting on a plane again. This of course was a lie, since I lived in California, and still had a very long flight ahead of me. I flew again in summer 2001, each time having a panic attack when boarding the plane and for the first couple hours of the flight.

On Sept 11, 2001 my alarm clock went off at 6am. The breaking news was of a plane hitting the world trade center. Honestly, I had no idea what that was. I walked into my parents room and said "See, this is why I don't want to fly". They gave me a look, and said something along the lines of "I'm sure it was just a prop plane, nothing to worry about." I went back to my room, turned on the TV and watched the second plane fly into the world trade center. I didn't cry. I just stared at the screen in shock. Is this for real? What does this mean?

We went to school that day but nothing happened. We listened to the news on the radio and heard of the third and fourth flights that went down. We discussed the meaning of the events in all classes, and what they could mean. We felt lucky on the west coast.

I didn't cry all day, or even all week. That Friday I went to the movies with my then boyfriend, and we saw "Hardball", a movie about under privileged kids... one of whom dies at the end of the movie. I walked out of the theater in tears. Who knows why... for some reason that movie made me realize how real everything was.

Things have changed since then, and yet they havent changed. I'm living in a foreign country, but I still fight with my fear of flying every time I board a plane. I have a daughter, and part of me is fearful of the world she will grow up in. I watched the moments of 9/11 on the news again, and wondered that after 8 years the feelings of shock and fear are still there... yet in my daily life I can ignore the implications of the resulting wars, even here in the middle east.

I thank g-d for everything he has given me since that day, and for that fact that even now there are only one or two other major world events that I remember as vividly.
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im a bad poster [Sep. 3rd, 2009|09:58 pm]
the Wild Roze
i know i havent posted... in almost a month! i have been posting on my other aliyah blog, so make sure to check that out. we are now in israel, and have been here for two weeks. its been a crazy experience, yet a good one. so much has changed since i started writing this blog... over 6 years ago!

Maya has been amazing. she is 3 and half month old now, and we are enjoying every minute. she has started a daycare with yehis aunt, which she seems to love. its more exciting to have more people to watch and play with. it is amazing to watch her grow, really everyday. she is reaching to grab objects now, she coos non-stop, she is even trying to figure out the whole rolling from back to front thing. i love watching her figure things out.

its kind of weird being in israel and not really keeping track of the american calendar. i am already settling into the whole 'sunday is a work day' thing, and i totally forgot that monday was labor day. its nice for me, but harder to remember what is a good time to call the states. right now my schedule is mostly clear, so its easier. i start ulpan on sunday, kind of, so that will at least keep me busy.

anyone have any tips for watching american shows here in israel? i know of surfthechannel.com, but most of the links are for sites that dont work here... and im going to need my bones/ghost whisperer/big bang theory!
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updating [Aug. 11th, 2009|09:43 am]
the Wild Roze
i havent been posting on here at all recently... for a couple reason. the most major reason is because when i have tried posting in the last couple weeks, my screen keeps freezing. and only for livejournal... odd. the baby and moving have been keeping me very busy and otherwise occupied... but i have been posting somewhat at my aliyah journal (http://israelmetamorphoses.blogspot.com/).

i feel so blessed these days. maya is amazing, and watching her grow and change these last couple weeks has been beyond fascinating. she is very alert, and loves to just take in all her surroundings. her cooing has turned into long "conversations", and her smiles are more frequent (though never when a camera is out of course). she has her daddys genes, and is ALWAYS moving. it amazes me how quickly their personalities shine through... what she likes and what she doesnt (baths and sitting still respectively, for instance). she hasnt yet figured out how to suck her thumb, but she is working on her hand. i am loving every minute of motherhood, and i cant wait for the years to come.

one week left until we move, which of course is good and bad. lots of packing and organizing to do... love you all, miss you all too
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(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2009|07:02 am]
the Wild Roze
oh motherhood! its has been such an amazing and crazy journey so far. Maya is 2 and a half months old already... she seems so big and so small, all at the same time. we have been very blessed. she is a great night sleeper (though not so good at her naps), and loves to be out and about, so traveling has not been a problem at all. she is beginning to figure out where her hands and feet are, and how they relate to the rest of her body. i can still sit and watch her move all day.

she has also begun smiling on a more regular basis! there is nothing that beats a babys smile, especially when i havent slept for a long period of time. her cooing is beginning to take shape also, and its fun to have conversations (though they are still all one sided... i can pretend!) it is beyond amazing how quickly babies grow and change... and how many new things they learn in a week.

beyond that we are packing for our move, and trying to get everything organized and cleaned. two and a half weeks left!
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(no subject) [Jul. 17th, 2009|05:09 pm]
the Wild Roze
Maya is now official a dual citizen... and a passport carrying one at that! we received both of her passports this week, and are now ready to travel. anyone out there who caries dual citizenship (claire?) want to explain exactly where we present each passport? i mean, leaving the us we show american citizenship, entering israel israeli citizenship... but what about at the airline desk?

we are headed to Merced this weekend for my great-great uncles memorial. i havent spent any extended period of time in the central valley in a lot of years (except last years yosemite venture i guess)... i am excited to see family i havent seen in a long time, and to introduce Maya and Yehi. i have such fond memories of those couple summers we spent down there, boating, hiking and setting off fireworks. its too bad we dont have enough time to head to yosemite, but when maya gets older we will.

speaking of which, Maya is 8 weeks old! crazy how the time passes... both quickly and slowly. it feels as if shes always been here, yet it still feels like yesterday i was still pregnant. i am cherishing every minute with her... and i love seeing her with yehi and with my parents. its such an amazing feeling, and so full of love... i am so thankful for them all
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(no subject) [Jul. 9th, 2009|08:57 am]
the Wild Roze
my baby girl is almost 7 weeks old! crazy... she has grown leaps and bounds in the last couple weeks, and its really amazing to watch. she has begun to smile (though not consistently), she will now focus on your face or on toys, she rolls over, she coos and she has grown in both height and weight! it still amazes me that she is ours, and i am awed everyday at what she can do. the days (and nights) are tiring, but it is totally worth it. i cant wait to see what the coming weeks bring.

there is nothing to show the wonder of the world like a new baby. you can really see day by day how they change and adjust to their surroundings. every little movement is a whole new world, for both her and me. i thank gd everyday for this miracle.... even if it means no sleep for a couple months

we are beginning to organize everything for our move. its amazing how much stuff the baby has already stacked up. we are still waiting for her passports, but hopefully soon. otherwise we are just hanging out, enjoying the summer.
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(no subject) [Jun. 25th, 2009|05:04 pm]
the Wild Roze
Maya is over a month old now! its crazy how quickly the time passes. she has already changed so much... shes gained three inches and 2 pounds since birth, and its much more alert and active. having an infant is definitely a full time job, but we are enjoying every minute of it. she is beautiful, BH, and we are very blessed.

we have also been working on our aliyah plans. i have been chronicling them at another blog,
http://israelmetamorphoses.blogspot.com . its been a crazy journey so far, and im sure will be more so to come. we have about two months until we leave... and i plan to enjoy every minute here until then. we are already trying to figure out our next trip to the states afterward.

thats really been about it. we had Maya's naming ceremony last week, along with a baby shower, which were both wonderful. we are so blessed to have so many family and friends to share in this experience with us. more updates to come soon, when i have a little more time to breathe... or when Maya starts taking longer naps!
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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2009|07:07 pm]
the Wild Roze
the past two weeks have been a little crazy, though not nearly as crazy as I thought they would be. baby is just over two weeks old now... waking every two hours or so to eat(night and day) and spending the rest of the time sleeping or just hanging out. I am tired, but we have been sharing baby duties, which makes things a whole lot easier. having my parents around to help has also been a blessing. i dont really understand those who dont want help the first couple weeks... i dont know how well i would have survived that first week without my husband or my parents. its such an overwhelming notion, that sudden this person is totally dependent on me... and it can cause serious crazy moments.

my inlaws are coming into town next week, along with my sister in law. they are so excited about being able to finally see and be with the baby. we will be doing some sort of naming ceremony while they are here, just to make a celebration for her.

i guess as first time parents we are pretty laid back. we have already taken the baby out and about a couple times... to restaurants, the doctor, even to israel in the gardens today. i dont let people touch her, but I would go stir crazy if i was stuck inside for two months. i do worry about the baby a lot, but im trying to remain calm and collected, as much as possible. stressing does no one any good. baby has already gained a pound over her birth weight, so she seems to be settling in just fine. other than that, we are just enjoying being new parents, and this new chapter in our lives.
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(no subject) [May. 24th, 2009|08:59 pm]
the Wild Roze
Maya was born May 22nd... beautiful and healthy, BH. we have just gotten home, and are looking forward to getting settled. much love from us all!
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